Hawaii's Beautiful......but........

I want my mommy!!!!OK and my daddy, and my brothers and sisters too.
Today I find myself missing my family something terrible. I love Hawaii, it's so beautiful here but the company of the people that have known me my whole life is even more beautiful. I wish nothing more right this minute than to be sitting around the living room doing nothing but cuttin up on each other. I really miss that.

I miss Pablo like crazy. There are very few people in this life that will ever understand the significance of Mr. Potato Head in my life and all the little inside jokes that go along with him.
I miss Amy's calming presence and wittiness, Aaron and Bryan's brooding and thoughtfulness, and Angie's naivety. I miss sweet Hannah's laugh and fained airheadedness. I miss my mother's friendship and warmth and my daddy's big strong hugs. So yes Hawaii, you are beautiful, but your beauty pales in comparison to the one I love.

Reflections on 9/11

I woke this morning not really thinking to much about the fact tht it was 9/11. I knew I had to remember to call my mom and stepdad to wish them a happy anniversary and reviewed my mental list of things to get done today. I fought with Lexi, yet again, about her clothes and was frustrated when her disobedience made her and Kayli late for school. After dropping them off I ran to Starbucks for my caffine fix and standing in line behind a couple of airmen I heard the lady in front of me tell the cashier that she would be paying for their beverages. She told them it was the least she could do to honor our military today. At that point I left, without ordering my coffee, and cried all the way home. Here I had spent a good portion of my morning pissed off and fustrated over something as trivial clothing and there are hundreds of people today mourning the loss of friends and family taken that day. It really made me reflect on the impact that it's had in my own life and my own feelings that day watching the events play out over the news.



The morning of the 9/11 attacks I sat cross legged on the floor in front of my TV, pregnant with Lexi, crying and so visibly shaken by what I was watching that I began to have contractions. I have never felt so scared and helpless over the situation of strangers the way I was that day. And though I used to roll my eyes when my parents and granparents would talk about how they would never forget where they were and what they were doing when this or that happened, I understand now and I never want to forget how I felt that day. I want that reminder of how even through tragedy, the human spirit can prevail, that people can still come together and rally behind the battered and the broken, and lift the needs of others above our own. For the memories that stick with me the most, are those of the heros running toward the distruction to help those under siege who could not help themselves.



So today I will pray for the souls lost, the loved ones that mourn them, and the heros that tried to save them. And when the girls get home I will apologize to Lexi for my lack of patience and tell her that I love her. God has blessed my life in so many wonderful ways and trivial things are just not worth the energy of anger and aggrevasion when all is said and done, esspecially on a day like today.

Hair Obsession

I have always had a love hate relationship with my hair. I'm also very attached to it's length, like a child with a blanket. So cutting it is no small task. I usually frett over it for days, weeks, months before cutting it beyond a simple trim, nonetheless every few years I will get a crazy, wild, hair up my butt and decide to chop it all off. Now keep in mind for me "chopping it off" means cutting 6 or 7 inches off of my waist (or beyond) length hair. It's always a tramatic, exciting and cleansing experience.

During my most recent chop session I cut off a whopping 10+", bringing my hair up to shoulder length and the shortest I think it's been since someone else was in charge of making those decisions for me (about 6 yo). I'm still trying to make up my mind as to whether I like it or not, but I am leaning more towards than away. After all, I've had a couple of friends tell me it makes me look younger already, and let's face it, that's NEVER a bad thing to here.

This cut was a bit more of an interesting experience than any I've ever had before, the stylist was REALLY something. Q was the hawaiian version of Jorge from the movie Beautyshop (as played by Kevin Bacon), he was truely rockin the mesh shirt (complete with metal stud design) and cd sized silver skull belt buckle. He looked like he was plucked directly out of a horribly cliche gay night club scene (and he was totally straight BTW). I had to physically stifle the urge to laugh when I first saw him, it was just SOOOOO totally unexpected. But since I don't hate my hair, I raise my glass to Q the eccentric, keep doing your own thing sir, conformity is overrated.

I just wanna job!!!

So today I woke up, my stomach all in knots over the job interview I had today. This was my first in 9 years!
In the last 7 1/2 years (since leaving my last job) I've been going to school, having babies and doing the mom & wife thing. Well now that all my kiddos are in school full time I am ready to rejoin the work force! Sounds great huh? Not really, I have been submitting application after application and finally got a call last week for an interview today. I was both excited and nervous, but fully ready to go in there and convince them I was there girl. Instead I get dragged into a mass recruiting session and told how I could be making 10K a month in just 8 months time, and it would only cost me $700 to get the process of staking my fortune started. Give me a break! I am looking for a job because I NEED money, like I have $700 just sitting in my pocket and ready to gamble on their get rich quick scheme.
It's sooooooo fustrating! I just want a job, something to help better my families situation and allow us all more opportunities. So would somebody out there please answer my cries for the perfect job? Or maybe just the decent, doesn't suck and works for my families schedule job?

Relaxation at it's best.

These days my favorite guilty pleasure is to sit on the beach, stick my feet in the warm sand and get lost in my book. More often than not lately I find myself engulfed in my reading more than enjoying the water and waves when we head to the beach. It's so easy to get distracted at home by all of the things that need to be done that I never seem to get in as much quality time with my books as I'd like. So these little moments on the beach are really a treat and perhaps one of my favorite things about being in Hawaii, cause I get to enjoy this all year long.

Current Read: Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts